Soulmate.

No. No one is perfect. But there is someone who made you feel perfect, made you feel enough. And so does him/her. Cause you made him/her feel perfect, feel enough.

I would say that is soulmate, the missing piece.

THE FINAL PROFESSIONAL EXAM - MBBCH

"Bismillahirrahmanirrahim.

Ya Allah, Kau permudahkanlah bagi Azie Nur'Auni dan rakan seperjuangannya tahun akhir, untuk final exam mereka, bermula pada hari ini. Bantulah mereka ketika menjawab soalan, dan kurniakanlah kejayaan cemerlang buat mereka dalam peperiksaan ini. 

Amin"

First paper: MCQ Exam, 1/12/2015, 200 questions, 1pm GMT+2 (7pm Malaysia)

Doakan kitorang semua okay! Maafkan salah silap, halalkan makan minum.

And to all Resilients, keep calm and lets go get our MBBCH!

Goodbye Goggle

Entah siapa yang masih lagi baca belog aku ni, haha. And I am  only write it bila ada teringat je, which is barely once a month. Pendek kata, dah tak rajin menulis macam zaman dodulu, hehe. Okay, tajuk harini is, Goodbye Goggle. 

Tinggal seminggu je kelas, lepastu habis dah 13 semester. Kesemuanya. Bermakna lepas ni tinggal final exam je lagi. Bermakna perjalanan sebagai student medic hampir berakhir. Dimana mana je aku lihat sekarang, semuanya ada kesan melankolik di situ. Bukan sebab aku bakal rindu, tetapi sebab Mesir ni banyak megajar aku tentang kesusahan, mematangkan pandangan aku, dan matangkan pendirian aku.

Di sini aku belajar erti sabar, erti kawan, erti cinta, erti tabah, erti hidup pendek kata, dan semuanya akan aku tinggalkan tidak lama lagi. Yes, of course tak sabar tinggalkan Egypt, haha but mixed feeling kate orang. Hehe. 

Now, aku tengah tak sihat. Demam, batuk, selsema. Doakan cepat sembuh tau. 

Okaylah, the meds are kicking, kepala mula pening. Till we meet again :)

My First Love

My first love, the very first man that I would give a whole universe to is my dad. Yes, he is and he always will be. I love you :)

Your always little princess;
Alai ;)

My Last Spring

Hello dear

It will be my last spring here in Egypt. Macam tak caya jeeeee dah nak tinggalkan Egypt ni. Haha ye lah, 6 tahun setengah kot belajar. Rasa macam rumah kedua dah. Haha. It is spring right now, the flowers bloom, sunny, with chilly wind. I'm gonna miss spring season. It is my fav month (after winter hehe). 

Btw, right now I'm in Tropical Medicine, Parasitology & Community Medicine round. This will takes 2 months, then will be sitting for end round exam on 26th June, and inshaAllah will be back to Malaysia on 27th June! Aaa cant wait to meet my adik-adik! Hihihi

Belum beli tiket lagi actually, sebab nak tunggu May sikit. Harap-harap dapatlah any promo price. Kehkeh or ade sesape nak sponsor tak?? Hahaha. Berdebar pulak nak habiskan study, sebab after that akan masuk alam baru, working life. Nervous. Heh.

Ok lah, sebenarnya tulis ni pun supaya belog tak bersawang lah sangat. At least an entry per month, as I know, one day I will look back in time, and I can see what I have been doing until now. Keke. Okay everyone, so, see you next time! You take care, and pray for me :)

XOXO,

p/s: elaun buku MARA tahun ni tak masuk kot, kenapa entah. Grr

p/s/s: Baru je hujan tadi, siap guruh

p/s/s/s: Another thing I will miss about Egypt is the food! Haritu mama bagi mahshi sedap gila

Scribbles

Hello :)

It is March 25th, and semalam Malaysian was devastated, no, beyond devastation, by the news that MH370 has ended its journey at Southern Indian Ocean. 17 days missing, and the search for the plane is still ongoing. 

I don't know what to say. But I know most people share the same feeling. Where everyone lost of words, apatah lagi families of the MH 350's crews and passengers. Also, semalam about 500+ penyokong IM here in Egypt dijatuhkan hukuman mati. 

I don't know whether the MH370 is really crashed. I dont know. But what I know everyone had done their best. That's all. For IM case, I don't want to talk much, because I think everyone knew what is going on. Ok enough of serious talking.

Tinggal 9 hari lagi for end round exam (Oncology Dept.) After this, we'll have our final semester, Parasite and Tropical. Habis je exam, which is on 26th June, I'll be going home for my 2 months electives at Hospital Umum Sarawak. And then will be coming back here in Egypt for my VIVA presentation and final exam, which will be ended by 24th Dec. And inshaAllah will graduate on Feb 2015. 

The journey nearing its end. Gosh. I have mixed feeling. Happy and nervous and sad and all the feelings in the world. Haha. Yes, of course I cant wait for my graduation, penat ok belajar 6 tahun di kala semua orang lain dah bekerja ada rumah semua. But, I am so nervous to start my work as a doctor. The responsibilities that comes with it.... I hope I can bear it. :) Wish for me and my friends, ok?

Okay lah, I'll write again later. So toodles! Take care ya XOXO

p/s: rindu baby and ezhan

p/s/s: we got whatsapp group 'Famili Rashie Abady' hihi

p/s/s/s : I really really want a kitten!

Happy 2nd Ann, Love.

19th March is here again...



I love you :)

Hello Feb-ulous!

Hello February! And hello readers! Aicehhh.

Hahaha. Now I am having my winter break for a month. In Malaysia. Hehehe. The first week was sooooo busy, with two of my closest cousins got engaged today! Yesss, after kakaknya, adiknya pulak petang tu. Moga dipermudahkan urusan next step inshaAllah Mei/Jun ini, aminnn. Congratssss Kak As and Bang Miji! :D 

Okay, right now, I am actually in my room, with hidung sebelah tersumbat macam hape sebab selsema dah beberapa harini, grr. Nasib baik demam dah okay sikit. Esok plan teman dik Aisya beli barang nak balik SSP. Oh have I updated you about my lil sis? She is now studying in Sekolah Seri Puteri under Yayasan Sarawak. Apart from every newcomers issues, everything is well. Cepat cepat adapt dengan kehidupan asrama ye dik!

Alyaa still in UiTM, jarang balik rumah coz she's been busy with her classes and quizes. Ainaa busy with her SPM and her duty as Ketua Pengawas (where she always complain because she didn't even get to be annouced depan semua student as many don't know she is the KP haha). Eyan right now in Penang, having one week trip with his buddies. Eisham, Shahir, Ezhan, and Arisya are all enjoying their childhood moments. hahaha but semua tengah demam now ni, pls get well soon! Along taknak jangkit lagii. Haha. Bapak and emak are doing their best (they are indeed the best!) cari duit, kerja, uruskan rumah, etc. They are simply the best parents in the world!

Ok, I think that is all. As I only want to write some update so takdelah bersawang sangat blog ni. I promised I'll try my best to write more. Till then, take care everyone! :)

Beyond Imperfection

Today, I told him, how I love him. I thought I was great at explaining it. Kiranya ingat ayat dah touching terer accepting habis lah ni.

Me: Awak, you know what. I love you, beyond imperfection.
Him: Between us, I am the one who fall first. Who love first. Today, you may say you love me beyond everything, tomorrow you might say you don't love me anymore. But saya kenal diri saya, siapa yang saya nak, thus my feeling for you from awal lagi sampai sekarang, tak pernah berubah. I love you too.

There's no one can explain better than you :) 

How To Free Yourself from Negative Thinking, Calm Voices in Your Head & Clear Your Mind from Bad Memories

I believe most of us have these 3 questions.

1. How to free yourself from negative thinking?

2. How to calm voices in your head?

3. How to clear your mind from bad memories?

I write these, from my point of view, experiences, reading, and watching. So, I thought it would be best if I shared it with you out there, because I know all of us, have or had this struggling, at least at one point of their life. And please, pardon my rojak language ;) And ofc, thanks to Mr Google yang menaja gambor-gambor berkaitan.

1. How to free yourself from negative thinking?

It is easy, we make it hard, but actually it is easy. Okay, mari kita bagi satu situasi. Contoh lah eh. Contoh. Kau bercakap dengan si A. Tengah syok bercakap ni, tetiba si A cakap something, yang at that point, kau rasa tercucuk kat hati kau, and kau fikir, 'Kenapa dia cakap camni? Aku ada cakap something salah ke?". Pastu that point, kau dah mula fikir lain and macam-macam. Mulalah fikir negatif. Haa so, part ni lah kita nak stop.

So, here what you have to do. Ask yourself, "Do I need to think about it? Does it need to be solved?". Or I will just relax and let it past. 

Here's the deal. Kau boleh lean into that feeling, and here is what gonna happen. You will feel that energy drawing you down into it, and you become it.

OR you can do this. The moment your mind dah nak start its chit-chat-merapu-menyimpang, your first reaction is you just have to relax, and lean away from that. Yes, you have the right to relax lean away. What you are doing is you are giving it a space, and you will learn over time, that is the smartest thing you ever did.. Why? Because you give a room for it to pass through. And it will pass through. And by time, it was just another honking like those cars yang tak henti-henti ponponpon macam kat Egypt ni. Hehe.

2. How to calm voices in your head?

You lie on bed, but you could not sleep, and hardly close your eyes, because there are these voices in your head that is so loud, with enormous speed, that you can't stop.

First thing you should imply is, your mind WOULD NOT STOP. When you ask yourself, "Why you can't stop your mind?", don't believe it, because you CAN'T STOP your mind. Oh man, hurt isn't it? Well, it's harsh truth. So what you CAN do, you can choose to take your attention away from thinking:

1. First, as you lie on bed, feel the energy inside your hand. In another words, feel the energy that your hands are there without touching anything.

2. After a while, most people can feel, slight tingling or numbness. Like an energy. And that's enormous step you had taken, because slowly, your thinking will be slowed down. Because it no longer has your whole attention. 

3. Then, incooperate your whole body by sense your legs, your hands, arms etc.

Now, you must be asking, alaa susah susah buat camtu, asal tak fikir je pasal benda lain ke? Haa here comes why. It doesn't has ANCHOR for the present. Your mind has such momentum that you can't stop. So, these simple 3 steps act as an ANCHOR to the present. Your own-self inner body. You might even stop completely for a while. The amazing thing is, what before is an unpleasant dreadful sleepless night, within few minute can actually transform into a feeling of lightness. You'll feel this moment; "Ahh..I have slowed down"

3. How to clear your mind from bad memories?

Can you clear your mind from bad memories? Well, not as such, but you can recognize that bad memories are thoughts that arising in your mind. And when you recognize it, you don't need to identify with the thoughts any longer. It already happened. So memories, again, are ONLY THOUGHTS that arises from your mind. When you only believe that it is real, then they have power over you. But when you realize, it is just another thought, and you'll find space, a space that has relationship with thought, then this thought has no longer has its inert grip. Faham tak? Kiranya, when you realize it is just another thought, you akan jumpa this one little space, which separate it from reality. 

Another aspect is which has something to do with guilt, something one did to someone or something they failed to do, or should have done. When this arises, get this, no human being can act beyond the level of his awareness. Who you were then, at that time you acted like that awareness was not there, to act differently. Now, awareness is there, and that awareness is who you truly are.

Well, these are 3 hows that I am sure everybody ever ask her/himself. It just a sharing, and if it helps you, alhamdulillah :) Cheers!

p/s: yeay it's weekend!

p/s/s: lapar tapi malas nak makan wakaka

Dua Kosong Satu Empat

Thank you 2013 for being a really great year for me. Yes, it truly was :) So much laughter and happiness, that I couldn't thank Allah enough for all of these blessing; my family, beloved one, friends, well, simply everything. Please don't take these away from me, and grant me and people I love more happiness. Dan semoga segala urusan kita 2014 ini dipermudahkan.

Aminnn :)

Happy New Year;

Auni Shbini

Sent from my iPad