Monday, February 25, 2013

Just Go...With It

Dear you,
You asked me whether I am okay if you write about her.

Yes, I am okay.
The fact you are asking my permission,  I really appreciate it :)

Why should I?
1. She is your true love. And I am not gonna be able to compete with her.
2. She is the one that should be beside you, not me.
3. She is your special one, and she owns a special place inside your heart.
4. She is perfect and complete you in every way that I know I cannot.
5. She is the one. For you.

If just she is still alive, I will proudly walk out of this, and say bye-bye a long time ago, and give the spot that is meant for her from the start. Hell yeah, I wouldn't look at you perhaps at the first place. Hehe. Jealous? Who would not if someone you love, love someone else, even deeper? It seems unfair for me. I even wish I left the world so you would miss me like you miss her. To give this up? I even think of that too. Believe me, sometimes I feel like I can't hold onto this anymore. Yea, what is the point loving someone who is still loving someone else?


It doesn't matter. You said I make you happy. And if that really does, at least I can make you smile. At least I can make you laugh. At least I can listen to your stories, just like she did. At least I can do what she did once upon a time. And yes, I know I am not as perfect as she was. I know I am not good and cool as she was. I know I am not as pretty as she was. Most importantly, I know I am not her. But, I am here.

She owns your past. I own your present. That itself reminds me. I sometimes wish God wouldn't take her away from you too. Really, if I have one wish, I would use it one you; I wish she is still alive, fine and breathing. So you would not have to face this. So you both will be together. And I would not have to feel this. But, who are us to blame Him. He is the greatest planner.

I hope I am gonna be strong enough to hold you a little bit longer at least. At least, until you find someone who is better than me, more or less like her.

This defines well my "I am okay".


nabila azmi said...


fuzzyskuzzy said...

awhh.. the important thing is he loves you now right.. just try to give him the best that you could. jangan sedih okay. walaupun naluri seorang wanita tu mmg konfem la akan sedih, but like u said, u r his present now. n hopefully his future too insyaAllah :)

aunishbini said...


aunishbini said...

Let's see how it goes. InshaAllah :)